Okay ladies and gentlemen, I need your help,

As I am sure some of you already know, starting next fall we will be homeschooling. Alex will be starting kindergarten and we decided that what was the best course of action for him was to keep him home with me. I am actually very excited about doing this. Which shows what a long way God has brought me since this time last year. Last year I was terrified and trying to ignore what God was telling me. However how I got from there to here is a story for another time. What I am focusing on today is the beginning of my preparations.

Part of getting ready to turn my dining room into a part time classroom was getting my own computer. A few months ago I switched from using a laptop of my own to sharing a desktop computer with the kids. I did this for several reasons, on of which was because I was spending entirely too much time, just playing on the computer instead of spending that time with my wonderful husband and kids. Let alone getting the household chores done. Those few months off have done me a world of good. I was starting to remember however why I was using the laptop in the first place rather than a desktop. I also knew that once we started school, Alex would be using the computer more and more since I plan to make the computer a part of our curriculum. I knew that I would be needing my own computer again. Well when Jason decided that he wanted to upgrade to a newer computer for himself I took the opportunity to get his old laptop.

Now that I had a computer again I really needed to start getting organized. This is where my problem comes in. I have some ideas, but really no clue as to how to implement them. This is where your help comes in. I am going to show you how the areas I want to work on are now, and explain what I want to do with them. Then I welcome any and all suggestion on how best to accomplish this with minimal expense and effort.

Area 1 – Mom’s Command Center

This is an area in our kitchen. As you can see I don’t use the area to cook or prep. it is in a spot in the kitchen that makes it hard for that. It has become a catch all for everything I don’t know what to do with. I would like to be able to use the counter top and the cabinets as my area. Kinda like my desk, only I can’t sit at it, because I keep my pots and pans in the lower cabinet. The upper cabinets though could be completely cleaned out and everything that is in there can be housed elsewhere in the house. So that leaves a blank slate for all my stuff. The counter top can also be completely cleaned off to make room for my laptop, and anything else I want to keep there, like my pencil and mail holder, which you can see  in the pictures below. I would also love to have something on the wall underneath the cabinet for putting up important papers, and notices, like calendars, etc..

Area 2: The kids desk and work space.

This is the kids desk, and mine at the moment. You can see my pile of stuff that will be moved to the other area in the kitchen. Next to the desk we will be getting a new shelving unit to house all our homeschooling supplies. I will probably put our quiet time toys in that shelving unit as well. (the legos you see in the above pictures along with some things we have in the playroom) We love the Besta shelving units from Ikea. We have several that we use in our living room for our entertainment center (you can see them a little bit in the first picture of the kids space, they are dark brown.)  They hold a ton and you can completely customize them for your individual needs.

That is what I’ve got. Any suggestions would be great.

There I said it,

I am so tired of people going on and on and on about how horrible Halloween is. I can’t tell you the number of times today I have heard people, basically yelling at other people, about how horrible Halloween is and how they are going to permanently damage their children if they even acknowledge the holiday, let alone celebrate it.

(If you are one of those people who feel this way, than stop reading now, don’t send me any comments telling me how horrible I am, or why you don’t celebrate Halloween, I have heard them all, it is not going to change my opinion. This is my blog, I can write what I want and I am entitled to my own opinion, if you don’t like it, stop reading now.)

Yes we let our children get dressed up and go trick-or-treating. Yes we have pumpkins on our front porch. Granted they are plastic and store bought, but that is because I don’t really like the mess that comes with carving a pumpkin. When the kids really start asking to carve pumpkins, we will. No I don’t decorate for Halloween, other than the before mentioned pumpkins that don’t come out till the week before Halloween. Yes I decorate my front porch for Fall, It goes up in September and goes down right after Thanksgiving, when I put up my Christmas decorations. And yes I am a Christian, I believe in Jesus as our Lord and Savior. Participating in the Halloween festivities doesn’t change what I believe.

Okay now that I got that off my chest, let me explain. I don’t see the harm in letting little kids be kids. I don’t dress my children up as devils, witches, monsters, etc.. If they wanted to wear something like that I would say NO!!! Celebrating Halloween by dressing up in innocent Disney or Superhero Costumes is not Pagan Devil Worship. I REPEAT, DRESSING UP AS CINDERELLA OR WOODY DOES NOT MEAN MY CHILDREN WORSHIP THE DEVIL OR PRACTICE PAGAN WORSHIP. If that were the case, millions of children around the world would be in trouble. Little kids play dress up everyday, I know my daughter does. I am sorry if I seam a little harsh about this. I have been hearing more and more about how horrible people are who celebrate Halloween. Yes I believe that the devil exists, and that worshiping him is just asking for trouble. But what harm is there in dressing up and begging your neighbors for candy.

If you look long enough and hard enough you can find Pagan roots to all of the major holidays that we celebrate. Does that mean we need to stop celebrating? I know some people would say yes, yes, yes. My thinking is than, how do you explain to you kids why they can’t do something as innocent and childlike as begging for candy (which lets face it, is what trick-or-treating boils down to) when that is what all their friends are doing. And before you give me the, if your friends were jumping off a bridge speech, No I don’t think we should just automatically conform to what the world thinks. What I do think is that we need to use some common sense and know and understand that our kids are going to ask these sorts of questions. Children are not dumb, even though they often act that way when you ask them to do something. If you don’t have a good solid answer then they are going to keep asking, until they get a good answer. I believe there are ways to let your kids celebrate, and still keep Jesus front and center. I know plenty of people who use the pumpkin as a way to explain how Jesus saves us. He cleans out our insides and fills us with his light. We don’t do that, but mostly because of my aversion to the mess carving a pumpkin makes. You want to get the Good News out there during this season, go ahead and do just that.

Instead of turning off all your lights, and locking your door and pretending that you don’t hear the constant ringing of your doorbell on Halloween, be The Light to your neighbors. One thing I have done in the past is hand out scripture candy, and special Halloween cards with scripture on them. Jesus tells us to get out there and spread The Word, how can we do that if we stay locked up safe and sound in our homes and churches.

Here are a few other things you can use to spread The Word.

S.H.I.N.E. Reflective Slap Bracelet

S.H.I.N.E. Squeeze Light with Carabiner

Let’s Shine Jesus’ Light on Halloween Board Book

Have a happy and safe Halloween.

(By the way, the pictures are from last year, I haven’t taken any pictures of the kids in their costumes yet this year)

In typical fashion last week went flying by. It really got away from me, and what a week it has been. First things first, my GAG weigh in. I used my first free pass this week. It was not a great week, I was stressed and very down. I tend to forget what I am doing when I am feeling like that and snack a lot. It was better than it could have been since I don’t keep high calorie snacks in the house. I was also PMSing this week, so that didn’t help at all. In the end when I finally did get on the scale, I hadn’t lost weight, but I hadn’t gained any either, which is a good thing.

You are probably now asking, why was last week a rough week? It is the same answer it usually is, school. I am so glad that we have chosen to home school starting next year. In the meantime though we have to get through this year. If you didn’t already know, Alex is a very active little boy. He does have some trouble sitting still and sharing with other kids, nothing that really has me concerned though. School is a different matter. He is in the oldest class in his preschool this year, the 4 year old class. Well I thought that he was doing okay. At least that is what the teachers told me after his first week. Well last week, his second week, I found out that he wasn’t really doing all that well. He wasn’t sitting when he was supposed to and was having a lot of trouble getting along with the other kids. This of course has me stressed out because I know what a sweet, happy, well behaved little boy he can be, and is when he is not in school. All his problems center around school. I know he is not perfect and yes he does have problems at home, but nothing more than any other 4 year old with a younger, sometimes annoying little sister. I was at a loss as what to do with him, since nothing my husband and I were saying to him seemed to be registering.We talked about his behavior all weekend, we took away his dinner out on Friday because of his behavior, nothing seemed to work. Monday he went to school and had an even worse day, and I was completely strung out and frustrated. I hate to sound like the parent who is saying that their child can do no wrong, and is perfect all the time. However, that being said, I do think the school needs to take some ownership here. I believe that a big part of the problem is that he is bored at school. He is way above about half of the class, if not more. Last year when they tested him at the end of the year, he was in the top five in a group of 24. That is both classes in the school that are his age. At home we are working on reading and counting to 70, while at school they are still just introducing the letter and numbers to 10. This is stuff he has been doing for years.

I spent all day yesterday and all last night praying about the situation. I am fully prepared to take him out of school and start homeschooling right away. He is more than capable of handling the kindergarten material. This morning I decided that rather than do my usual prayer about school in the car after I drop them off, I would pray with the kids after we parked the car and before we went in to school. Well guess what, both kids had a much better day today. (Lizzie, who is very strong willed, has been raging an all out war on the teachers, in an attempt to show them who is the boss. In her opinion it should be her) Alex was crying when I picked him up, but that was because he had to use the bathroom and somebody was already in there. I am going to continue praying everyday, I really want both the kids to have a great year. Plus the selfish side of me is enjoying going grocery shopping without the kids, and I love having 2 1/2 hours on Friday to do whatever it is I want to do, no kids attached.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

On a side note, please pray for a little girl from our church. I can’t go into details, but she needs all the prayer she can get.

God Bless

Heather.

I know I haven’t written much the last few weeks. The kids started school last week and Women of Faith was last weekend. Top that all off with a family cold that the kids brought home from school, I didn’t go near the computer as much last week. Other than the cold that kicked my but last weekend, It was a great week.

Alex started school on Monday. He now goes three days a week. I was a little concerned about this, since in the past he has not been able to handle that much activity for that many days during the week. I have always had to make sure that he was not out of the house for more than two days a week. Any more than that and he started to act out and make life generally difficult. I always just figured it was his way of telling me that this was too much. That is one of the many reasons we decided to homeschool next year. He is just one of those kids who does much better at home in the more relaxed environment.  So I was very pleased that last week he did great all three days at school. He didn’t have any accidents, and I didn’t get any negative reports from his teachers, in fact when I asked how he was doing, they had all positive things to say. We will see if he continues to do this well as the school year progresses, but I am very hopeful. He has matured a lot over the course of the summer. Here at home we are having much less problems with him then we were a year ago. This is how he always has been. I often say jokingly that he is like a plant or a tree. He grows a lot in the spring and summer months and than doesn’t grow much during the colder fall and winter months.  It seems that Lizzie is following in his foot steps in that regard as well.

Lizzie started school last week as well. She goes to her play group two days a week. The first day was a little dicey, the teachers told me that she didn’t listen as well as she should have, but she did much better the second day. She seems to be enjoying school, but she still tells me every day that she doesn’t want to to go back. I think she is more trying to exert some control over the situation.  She likes it and does want to go back, but wants me to know that if she chose to, she doesn’t have to go. It is just her strong willed personality showing through. Nobody makes Lizzie do anything that she doesn’t want to do.

I am not doing a daytime Bible Study this year, nor am I doing Mom’s Time Out this year. I decided that with the kids in school so much this year that adding a weekly Bible Study, and Mom’s Time Out would just be too much this year. I miss all the wonderful ladies that I have gotten to know through both those activities, but I am so glad that I am not doing that this year. I have been so relaxed the last few weeks. I am just not feeling the stress that I used to feel about getting everything at the house done and all the outside activities done as well. We seem to have fallen into a great workable schedule, where I don’t feel like I am neglecting any thing that needs to get done. I also think that is why the kids have been so well behaved the last few weeks. I am not nearly as stressed, so they are calmer and more behaved as a result.

Even though I am not doing a day time Bible Study, I am still participating in a Bible Study this fall. I am taking a study with the women’s group at our church. We are going to be reading the book, “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” I am really looking forward to this study for a number of reason. This book being the first one. It is all about finding intimacy with God in the chaos of our busy lives. Something I can def. learn more about. I am also looking forward to getting to know the women in the study more. It is such a great bunch of women, and I have always had a heart for Women’s Ministry. I loved organizing Women of Faith this year and I can’t wait to get started on next year. I found out this weekend that I will be going to a group leader seminar for Women of Faith in Texas this January. It is aimed at helping us to be more effective group leaders. I can’t wait to go and hear what they have to say. I already have several ideas floating around my head for next year. I can’t wait to get started.

All in all, I am a really good place right now. I have a great, awesome, husband who is so supportive of everything I do. I am finally losing this weight that has hung on for years now. The kids are doing great, and I am enjoying being their mom. I also really feel like I have found my place at church. I am doing what it is God wants me to be doing, and hopefully doing it well. I am really looking forward to the rest of this year.

Heather

So here we are into the second week of September already. It amazes me how quickly the summer went by. It seems like just yesterday I was at the Preschool end of the year program right before Memorial Day. Now here we are and both Alex and Lizzie start school next week. This is Alex’s last year of preschool and his last year of “Traditional Schooling” Next year he starts kindergarten and we start homeschooling. I am really starting to look forward to teaching both the kids. Especially after this summer. We had such a great and relaxing summer. It wasn’t until the very end of the summer when we had a heat wave here in New Jersey that I started to think I needed a break from the kids. This is a huge improvement over last summer, where two weeks into the summer I was ready to ship the kids off to military school. I think a lot of that had to do with the weather and their ages. Both kids are much more independent this year and I was able to send them outside without me so that I could get some things done around the house. And the fact that I could send them outside at all was a huge improvement over last year as well. We had such a cool summer here. It wasn’t until the last two weeks of August that the temperatures were too high for Alex to play outside the entire day. So they both got a lot of outside time, which anybody who has small children knows is essential to keeping Mommy sane. I was also able to do a lot more with them this year, without feeling like I had to take the whole house with me to go anywhere. We went to places like the Please Touch Museum, Free Movies at our local movie theater, our local farm where there is a huge play area and lots of fresh fruits and veggies to pick, and a couple of trips to the zoo. All in all it was a great summer.

Like I said before, both kids are in preschool this year. Well if you can call Lizzie’s class preschool, it is more like an organized play group where I don’t have to be present. They don’t do very much school work, it is a bunch of two year olds after all. I think it is going to be a great year for both of them. Alex has grown up so much over the course of the summer. We are still having some of the same problems that we were having at the end of last year, but they are much less and he is learning how to cope with things much better, plus he is finally potty trained, which is a huge thing for us. I am doing a little bit of homeschooling this year. I am planning a Bible Study with the kids on Tuesday and Thursday the days that we are home. It is a toddler program, but I am adapting it to work with both my toddler and preschooler. It is actually the same program that we are using with the toddlers at church so I am very excited about that. Another big thing that we have started here at home is chores for the kids. Both the kids have always helped with things like taking their dishes to the sink, putting dirty clothes in the hamper, things like that. I decided that it was time to give them a little more responsibility now that they are older.

Here are their chore lists:

Alex

1. Brush Teeth in morning and night
2. Take a bath or shower every day
3. Get lotion on
4. Put clothes in hamper
5. put shoes away
6. put books away
7. make bed
8. put backpack away
9. Set the table at dinner and lunch
10. clean up playroom
11. Help clear table
12. Help put away clean clothes
13. Stay clean and dry all day (potty)
14. Clean up outside toys
15. Try one new food a day

Lizzie

1. Brush teeth in morning and night
2. Take a bath and wash hair everyday
3. put clothes in hamper
4. put shoes away
5. put books away
6. Make my bed
7. put backpack away
8. Set table at lunch and dinner
9. clean up playroom
10. take dishes to the sink
11. clean up outside toys.

Surprisingly they have been so excited to do their chores every day. I know a lot of it is stuff that we were doing anyway, but I wanted to get them started on things that I knew that they could accomplish. As they get older we will add more chores for them to do, so that they learn to help out around the house. If the do all their chores during the week then on Friday they get to go to either Wendy’s or Chick-Fil-A for lunch. This would not have been my first choice of things to do since I am now officially on a diet, but that is what they wanted to do, so I will have to learn to deal.

I am really looking forward to this new school year and all the fun it will bring.

Heather

God Wants Me to be Kind

Bible Verse: Acts 3:6

Monday: Errand Day – Doing one kind thing for somebody else at each store we go to.
Ask Alex what he thinks would be a kind thing to do for other people while we are out.  (Example: holding the door for others)
Tuesday: Bible Story: Acts 3: 1-10
Read the story and discuss: Why did the man ask for money? What did Peter do for the man?
Story Visual: Show what it would be like to not be able to walk. Sit in a circle, offer a treat, but explain that they cannot use their legs to reach the treat. How did this make you feel, happy or sad?
Coloring Page: based on story.
Wednesday: Library: Finding books about being kind. Learning how to ask Liberian for help nicely, and learning how to find books.
Thursday: Craft Day: Be Kind Flower
Friday: Lunch out and Sports Class: Continue to practice being kind to others.

I was never really too sure about the whole “green” movement, until about a year ago. Even then, I was still kinda skeptical about the whole thing. Our process from being a family who filled up two large trash cans a week and ate a lot of, pre-packaged foods,  (rice a roni, hamburger helper, etc… ) We were never as bad as some of the families that you would see on T.V. We have never owned a deep fryer, and I baked or grilled most of our meat. However deep down I knew there was a lot of room for improvement, I just wasn’t real sure how to go about it. I liked the way the meals I cooked tasted, they were easy, and most importantly, my family ate them. As for the trash, well, all that pre-packaged food comes in boxes, and for a while we did have two children in diapers. Paper towels and other paper products were often a staple for us. With a toddler and an infant it made life so much easier.

As most things in this house, the change started with the kids. When Alex turned 1, we started him on whole milk, that is when we noticed that he was still spitting up, a lot. It just didn’t seem right. So I talked with his doctor and put him on soy milk instead of cow milk. It worked wonders. That was the start of our slow gradual change to being a green family. At that time, I still bought and cooked with a lot of pre-packaged food. I was so overwhelmed at the idea of cooking without dairy that I didn’t quite know how to start. On top of everything else we were moving from a town house into a single family home, and I was pregnant. It wasn’t the time to start experimenting with how I managed the house. At least I didn’t think so. I just wasn’t ready.

Then came Lizzie. Lizzie has changed our lives in ways I couldn’t ever begin to imagine. We discovered very quickly that Lizzie was dairy and soy intolerant. Not just dairy like Alex. Not only couldn’t she have dairy or soy, but she became violently sick whenever she had either, especially soy. At about the same time we started noticing some behavior problems in Alex, mostly hyperactivity and attention problems. Nothing big, but it was creating problems at home and at his playgroup. Since I was now cooking dairy and soy free for Lizzie I decided to try it with Alex as well. It worked, but we were still having problems, and I was still overwhelmed. I had no idea how to cook all naturally from scrap.

This is when I began to feel that God was telling me that I needed to make changes in how I managed our house. I started to feel like, we were wasting too much. I felt like God was telling me that there was a better way of doing things, that I didn’t have to be so overwhelmed all the time. All I needed to do was make a few small changes and I would be a much calmer wife and mother.

Our first big change was the diapers. At the time Lizzie was a year old and Alex was three. We were in the process of potty training Alex, but we were not getting very far. That left us with two children in diapers of some sort. That is a lot of diapers, and a lot of money. That in itself did not cause the change, it was Lizzie’s constant diaper rash that brought about the change. When Lizzie was 6 weeks old she contracted a yeast diaper rash, it was our constant companion for the next year. That rash caused many sleepless nights, and tiring days. By the time Lizzie was a year old, I was at the end of my rope. We had tried every medicine and home remedy out there, and nothing worked. That is when I gave in. I decided to try the cloth diapers, and guess what, within 2 days of using the diapers, the rash was gone. Other than the occasional guest appearance when Lizzie is sick, we haven’t seen it since. Along with a happier Lizzie, there were several other side benefits to the new diapers. The cost was a big one, They were expensive at the beginning, because we use pocket diapers, however after 6 months we had made back all our initial costs through savings.  We were now also producing far less garbage.

That was our first big step. After that all the other changes we made were tiny baby steps. I had been doing some research on ADHD and eventually decide to put both the kids on an all organic diet. I started this for Alex, to try to help with his behavior, but it has been beneficial for both the kids. It has been a little harder on my wallet, but I am confident that it will even out in the end. Alex has shown a dramatic improvement in his behavior in all areas of his life. It took some time, and a large learning curve for me. I had to pretty much relearn how to cook, but it has been well worth it.

Now that we have made those two biggest steps, I am slowly making other smaller changes. I have switched to microfiber sponges  and rags in the kitchen instead of disposable sponges and paper towels. I have switched to all natural cleaners as well. I am thinking about switching to cloth napkins when we use up the napkins that we currently have.  In a more personal area, I have even switched to cloth sanitary pads. We have gone down from two large trash cans a week, to less than one. I am also thinking about starting a vegetable garden this spring, and possibly even a compost pile, to help cut down on our trash even more.

All in all, I think all our changes have been for the better. I know the kids are happier and healthier, and so am I. I am not nearly as overwhelmed about cooking for my family, in fact I even enjoy it. I love sitting down at the beginning of the week and planning our menu. I am a much happier, calmer mom, which means happier and calmer children and husband.

I am happy that we have “gone green.” I know we are not nearly as green as we probably should be, we still have two cars, and I drive wherever I need to go. I still use shampoo, and toilet paper, but I am happy with the way things are going. I will continue to make small changes in our lifestyle when I feel that God is telling me too.

You would think that I know the answer to this question. After all I am a trained special education teacher. That is what I spent four years in school for, so that I could recognize and teach a child with a learning disability. So why is it then that I can’t come to a decision about my own child. I spend 24 hours a day with him, minus the 5 hours a week he is in school. But yet I still am up in the air about getting him evaluated for ADHD. There are a lot of reasons for this.

Number one reason is the fact that we have not made a decision about homeschooling yet. If he is going to be home with me instead of in a traditional school setting then what is the point of getting him evaluated. I know how to handle him, how to work with him without a diagnosis. I worry that getting a diagnosis will just be a label that will follow him the rest of his life. If he is home with me I can work with him in a way that suites his needs and learning style, ADHD or not. I don’t need a diagnosis to teach him.

Another reason is the medication issue. I am very reluctant to put him on medication. He is already on so much for his allergies and he has such a sensitive stomach to begin with. I don’t want to add yet another chemical to his poor little body. In fact we are in the process of trying to get rid of as many chemicals in the house as we can. Why would I pourposly add more. I know we don’t have to put him on medication if we don’t want to, but the schools most often push for it, and I don’t want him to be thought of as the bad child in the class, just because I don’t want him on medication. My fear is that he will get a teacher who can’t see past the words unmedicated and ADHD. If I decide to keep him out of school to avoid this situation then we are right back at point number 1.

As Alex get older I have been noticing that he is showing less and less ADHD tendencies. He is still a very active little boy who rarely sits still for a minute. But that does not mean he has ADHD. The impulsive behavior  has drastically reduced. He still touches a lot of things without thinking before he does it, which often gets him in trouble. But he doesn’t have the more severe impulse control problems. He doesn’t run into the street, he doesn’t hit, and he doesn’t often act first, think later. He does have some temper control problems still, but again he is an active little boy. I also feel that he doesn’t have a large attention problem. When he wants to he can spend hours focusing on one thing. He does still have a tendency to jump from one activity to another during free time, but that is getting less and less as he gets older. I am really starting to feel like he is growing out of many of the ADHD behaviors, and what I really have is an active boy. And is there really anything wrong with that. I don’t think so.

So what is the problem you say. School is the problem. Every Tuesday and Thursday I worry about the report that I get from his teachers. It seems like every day is something else. The biggest one is that he has trouble sharing and trouble getting over problems. I am really starting to wonder if this is more a problem with the teachers than with him. He has the same issues here at home and with friends, but for the most part I have been able to work through those with him. In fact the last play-date we were on, I don’t really remember having a problem with him at all. Other than trying to drag him out of there. So once again that brings us back to the homeschooling.  Is he just one of those kids who does better at home? Am I capable of providing the right learning environment for him? Will we want to strangle each other at the end of each day? At the moment I don’t have answers to any of these questions.

As of today we are still planning on sending him to his last year of preschool, and Lizzie will be starting the 2 year old program in the fall as well. I think we will have to see what the next year brings.