So I have been wanting to write a post about this for some time.  I wanted to finish the book first however.  This is a topic that is very important to me. Both my husband and I are very big on natural consequences, and letting kids be kids. A few weeks ago, after I was telling my mom that my neighbor didn’t like that I let my kids play out in the fenced in back yard without me, she bought me this book.  I love it.

In a nutshell, the book is saying that we as a culture have been overprotecting our kids at our kids expense. Kids are no longer allowed to be kids. The author goes on to explain that kids these days are just as safe as we were as kids and are missing out on some pretty valuable experiences. One of the big ones is being able to go outside and just play. I remember as a kid being kicked out of the house and told I had to be home by the time the street lights came on. I wasn’t restricted to the back yard, heck I wasn’t even restricted to the front yard. In my neighborhood growing up there were 4 houses in a row with children all around my age. There were 6 of us who ran all over the neighborhood playing all sorts of games. We played out in the rain, hot scorching sun, and pleasant spring days, and nobody thought any thing of it. Our parents were not worried that we would be abducted. Why, because we lived in a safe neighborhood and most of the neighbors knew us and would make sure our parents knew if we were doing something we shouldn’t.

Basically Lenore Skenazy (the author of the book) gives 14 commandments on having Free Range kids and goes over many of the most common worries that parents face today. I highly recommend the book for anyone who is in contact with children. I think we need to give our kids more freedom, the same freedom that we had as kids. It is good for them. There is also a blog to check out.

Today I am thankful for fellow bloggers who don’t mind when I rant instead of writing an actual post with a point.

Not exactly sure where that phrase comes from, probably the Bible somewhere. But that has been running through my head all weekend and early this week. I mentioned in my last post that Thursday was a pretty stressful day. The reason is because of judging people.

My oldest son Alex has been taking a karate class at the Little Gym. We love it, he is really learning to focus and is doing much better both in and out of school. The class is a late afternoon class, so there is a mixed age range, and a mixed parent group. Stay at home, working, work at home, etc.. There are these two women who are very snobby and you average “I’m better than you because…” type of women. Well I must have a target on my back that says “FREAK” because man are they judgmental, especially towards me, and especially once they found out that I am a homeschooling stay at home mom, who uses cloth diapers. Immediately they assumed that I must not be as good as them because of all those things say to them that I don’t have as much money as they do. (By the way, I am not assuming this, they have pretty much come right out and said this)  Anyway, their boys have been bullying Alex. The first few times I let it go under the premise that boys are boys and they play a little rough. The third time this happened I became upset. I said something to the teacher, and then at the urging of both my awesome husband and the karate teacher I said something to the mother. I got a snotty, irrational response. Basically why should I have to discipline my children because of yours type thing. That may not have been what she was thinking at the time, but that is how it came off to me.

So this happens last Thursday, then today I have been engaging in and following a debate about covering up while breastfeeding in public. And the amount of judging going on over there is outrageous. To think that people assume that you want people to look at you while you are trying to feed your child, or that you are trying to arouse men, is just laughable.

My point is, why does everybody need to judge everybody else. You don’t know their specific situation, and unless you are very close to that person you may never know the whole situation. In the case of the women at the karate class. She had no idea that I grew up in the area that she thinks of as prestigious, and that if I wanted to work or send my kids to school I could, and if  I wanted to use disposable diapers I would.  Basically instead of assuming the best about the people around us we are so busy assuming the worst.  What drives me even more insane is the people who do the most judging get insanely angry when they are judged by others. Has nobody ever heard of “Treat others the way you want to be treated”

Okay, so I guess I didn’t have a specific point to this post, it is more of a rant. I needed to get some things off my chest.

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Today I am very thankful that I have a wonderful, awesome husband who is willing to take time from his busy schedule to go to said karate class with me this week to face down the nasty ladies.

There I said it,

I am so tired of people going on and on and on about how horrible Halloween is. I can’t tell you the number of times today I have heard people, basically yelling at other people, about how horrible Halloween is and how they are going to permanently damage their children if they even acknowledge the holiday, let alone celebrate it.

(If you are one of those people who feel this way, than stop reading now, don’t send me any comments telling me how horrible I am, or why you don’t celebrate Halloween, I have heard them all, it is not going to change my opinion. This is my blog, I can write what I want and I am entitled to my own opinion, if you don’t like it, stop reading now.)

Yes we let our children get dressed up and go trick-or-treating. Yes we have pumpkins on our front porch. Granted they are plastic and store bought, but that is because I don’t really like the mess that comes with carving a pumpkin. When the kids really start asking to carve pumpkins, we will. No I don’t decorate for Halloween, other than the before mentioned pumpkins that don’t come out till the week before Halloween. Yes I decorate my front porch for Fall, It goes up in September and goes down right after Thanksgiving, when I put up my Christmas decorations. And yes I am a Christian, I believe in Jesus as our Lord and Savior. Participating in the Halloween festivities doesn’t change what I believe.

Okay now that I got that off my chest, let me explain. I don’t see the harm in letting little kids be kids. I don’t dress my children up as devils, witches, monsters, etc.. If they wanted to wear something like that I would say NO!!! Celebrating Halloween by dressing up in innocent Disney or Superhero Costumes is not Pagan Devil Worship. I REPEAT, DRESSING UP AS CINDERELLA OR WOODY DOES NOT MEAN MY CHILDREN WORSHIP THE DEVIL OR PRACTICE PAGAN WORSHIP. If that were the case, millions of children around the world would be in trouble. Little kids play dress up everyday, I know my daughter does. I am sorry if I seam a little harsh about this. I have been hearing more and more about how horrible people are who celebrate Halloween. Yes I believe that the devil exists, and that worshiping him is just asking for trouble. But what harm is there in dressing up and begging your neighbors for candy.

If you look long enough and hard enough you can find Pagan roots to all of the major holidays that we celebrate. Does that mean we need to stop celebrating? I know some people would say yes, yes, yes. My thinking is than, how do you explain to you kids why they can’t do something as innocent and childlike as begging for candy (which lets face it, is what trick-or-treating boils down to) when that is what all their friends are doing. And before you give me the, if your friends were jumping off a bridge speech, No I don’t think we should just automatically conform to what the world thinks. What I do think is that we need to use some common sense and know and understand that our kids are going to ask these sorts of questions. Children are not dumb, even though they often act that way when you ask them to do something. If you don’t have a good solid answer then they are going to keep asking, until they get a good answer. I believe there are ways to let your kids celebrate, and still keep Jesus front and center. I know plenty of people who use the pumpkin as a way to explain how Jesus saves us. He cleans out our insides and fills us with his light. We don’t do that, but mostly because of my aversion to the mess carving a pumpkin makes. You want to get the Good News out there during this season, go ahead and do just that.

Instead of turning off all your lights, and locking your door and pretending that you don’t hear the constant ringing of your doorbell on Halloween, be The Light to your neighbors. One thing I have done in the past is hand out scripture candy, and special Halloween cards with scripture on them. Jesus tells us to get out there and spread The Word, how can we do that if we stay locked up safe and sound in our homes and churches.

Here are a few other things you can use to spread The Word.

S.H.I.N.E. Reflective Slap Bracelet

S.H.I.N.E. Squeeze Light with Carabiner

Let’s Shine Jesus’ Light on Halloween Board Book

Have a happy and safe Halloween.

(By the way, the pictures are from last year, I haven’t taken any pictures of the kids in their costumes yet this year)

I am so very tired of being the crazy mom when I attend things with the kids. I never thought that my views on raising children were so out there. I always thought I was working off of the basis that common sense is the way to go. If my kids throw up when I give them milk, then I stop giving them milk, If my kids are not sleeping well, the I find out why and fix it. If I don’t like toys strewn all over my house, then the toys stay in the playroom ,It didn’t seem so out there, until recently.

I have been taking Alex to a sports class at a gym near us since last summer. He loves it and the day and time have been working out well for us, so we stayed with that class this fall. Well, the group of kids changed and with it so did the mothers. I try to talk to these mothers and I come off like the crazy person in the room. I mentioned that Lizzie has been taking these short 30 to 40 minute naps every day instead of her usual 2 hours, but that she is now finally mostly sleeping through the night. I got told that I shouldn’t stand for that short of a nap, and you can only imagine the look I got when I told her that my three year old doesn’t nap anymore at all. The napping brought on the issue of sleeping at night, another mother mentioned that they think her son has sleep apnea, so I mentioned that we are looking into that for Alex as well, to see if that is causing some of his hyperactivity. They never mentioned getting the adenoids x-rayed (which is the first thing our Allergist wanted to do) so I asked if they had done that. Again with the crazy women looks. I know for a fact that you can’t see the adenoids without an x-ray, and the adenoids are a big cause of sleep apnea, so why is that so crazy. Last week everyone was talking about Christmas presents and toys and how the toys are taking over the house. I mentioned that we just got rid of a bunch of toys for those reasons, they were taking over the playroom. This led to the fact that we don’t really allow toys out of the playroom, here come the crazy lady looks again.

Not only am I the crazy lady, but I can never finish a sentence. The minute I start talking I get interrupted. I talk about the kids food issues, I get told how they are not nearly as bad a someone else. I change Lizzie’s diaper and I get looks because I use cloth. Why is it that many mothers think that the way they are doing something is the best, and if anybody does it differently then they are the crazy lady. I am so tired of being that mother. Yes if my two year old is lying on the floor throwing a tantrum because I won’t let her do something, the I am just going to let her cry, it won’t hurt her and she needs to learn she can’t always get her way. If that said two year old is tired and behaves better if I put a movie on for her while her brother is in gym, what is the harm in that. It helps her get the rest she needs and allows me to watch my son during class. Why is it so crazy.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that, while I love my children dearly, I don’t cater to them. They need to learn to do things for themselves and how to get along in the world. Yes they are young and still need me to do a lot for them, but it is never to early to learn. So many parents these days cater to their children and then wonder why they are still living at home at the age of 30. I guess I will go on being the crazy mom and I will have to learn to live with it, I think I am going to start taking a book to the gym with me.