So I have been wanting to write a post about this for some time.  I wanted to finish the book first however.  This is a topic that is very important to me. Both my husband and I are very big on natural consequences, and letting kids be kids. A few weeks ago, after I was telling my mom that my neighbor didn’t like that I let my kids play out in the fenced in back yard without me, she bought me this book.  I love it.

In a nutshell, the book is saying that we as a culture have been overprotecting our kids at our kids expense. Kids are no longer allowed to be kids. The author goes on to explain that kids these days are just as safe as we were as kids and are missing out on some pretty valuable experiences. One of the big ones is being able to go outside and just play. I remember as a kid being kicked out of the house and told I had to be home by the time the street lights came on. I wasn’t restricted to the back yard, heck I wasn’t even restricted to the front yard. In my neighborhood growing up there were 4 houses in a row with children all around my age. There were 6 of us who ran all over the neighborhood playing all sorts of games. We played out in the rain, hot scorching sun, and pleasant spring days, and nobody thought any thing of it. Our parents were not worried that we would be abducted. Why, because we lived in a safe neighborhood and most of the neighbors knew us and would make sure our parents knew if we were doing something we shouldn’t.

Basically Lenore Skenazy (the author of the book) gives 14 commandments on having Free Range kids and goes over many of the most common worries that parents face today. I highly recommend the book for anyone who is in contact with children. I think we need to give our kids more freedom, the same freedom that we had as kids. It is good for them. There is also a blog to check out.

Today I am thankful for fellow bloggers who don’t mind when I rant instead of writing an actual post with a point.

My grandmother recently told me that she saw a newspaper article about today’s parents overprotecting their children.  She was saying that it was so different when she was raising her four children. This is something that Jason and I talk about all the time. There are somethings that have changed over the last 40 or 50 years that I agree with 100%. Things like seat-belts and using car seats. When my mother was growing up, car seats were unheard of. Even 20 years ago when my youngest brother was a baby, car seats were very different from how they are today. The car seats that my brothers used would never pass the current safety tests given to car seats today.

I am sure that the stricter safety standards have helped to save children’s lives in car crashes, but how far is too far. There are people out there who will tell you that any child less than 100 lbs should still be in a 5 point harness car seat. I know 13, 14, and 15 year old teenagers who don’t weigh 100 lbs yet. They are petite and probably will be for most of their lives. Should they still be sitting in a 5 point harness car seat? The same goes for very small toddlers. I have seen a few 2 year old who are not quite 20 lbs. So you have this 2 year old who is still sitting in an infant car seat rear facing.

The same thing goes for childproofing your house. Some things are obvious, put good electrical outlet covers over all the outlets, but do we really need to put pads over every corner in the house. Yes children are going to fall. Alex did, and yes he hit his head on a corner and needed to have his cut glued.  Falls happen, we can’t protect our children from everything.

I can’t tell you the number of people I see trying to germ proof their children and their houses. Only to wonder why their children get sicker than the kid who is allowed to be around germs. Children need to be exposed to some germs and viruses, and bacteria. It is how they develop their immune systems. Yes it is a pain to have to take care of sick children, but that is what being a parent is all about. Eventually they will develop immunities to the viruses and germs, and in the end they will be better for it.

There is a women who’s son is in Alex’s gym class. The little boy has a severe egg allergy. She protects him from any kind of egg to the point that it is actually becoming harmful to the boy. I was always told that the only way to overcome an allergy to something is to gradually expose your immune system to the allergen. This women is keeping egg completely away from her son. His allergy has only gotten worse. It is to the point that they have a tarp up in their hallway and you can’t pass that point without changing your clothes. At some point protecting your kids goes to far, and you actually are prohibiting them from being children.

Children need to play, and run, and yes sometimes they need to fall and get hurt. It is how they learn. A few weeks ago Lizzie burned herself on our oven. Up to that point I have having a hard time keeping her from playing with the oven door. Now she doesn’t touch the oven. She learned that that is not something you do. She has no permanent scars, physically or emotionally from getting burned and she will not be burned that way again, because she learned not to.

How far is too far in the protection of our children?

Heather